Upon leaving our Greeley cohort class this Saturday afternoon, I felt fatigued from participating in some eleven hours of current events discussion stretched over a twenty three hour period. I also felt exhilirated, as the occasion offered the rare opportunity to discuss significant and interesting news in higher education with about twenty five diverse, talented, and thoughtful higher education experts (relative to the general populace, at least) under Matt's very capable guidance. How often does one get the chance to do that?
Feeling like I needed a real break on the drive back to Longmont, I stopped off to visit the Barnes and Noble bookstore at the Centerra Shopping Center in Loveland (one of the few remaining national chain book stores in the region) to hunt for some diversionary reading. There I noticed a provocative
article beckoning from the cover of the
Atlantic magazine authored by Kate Bolick titled, "What, Me Marry? In today's economy, men are falling apart. What that means for sex and marriage." Wow.
As I have taken a particular interest in the purported declining fortunes of men in higher education recently, I flipped through the article, figuring there would be a higher education component included, being that the primary reading audience for the
Atlantic are middle-to-upper class college educated folks. And, sure enough, there was. I'll attempt to provide a basic summary of the article as it relates to higher education, as well as a brief critique and analysis in light of recent topically-related research.
The American College Campus: An Increasingly Lopsided Sexual Marketplace?
Bolick's article follows on the heels of a similarly pot-stirring article published in the Atlantic last year, titled The End of Men, by Hanna Rosin. In Rosin's article, men are portrayed as being left behind in the new globalizing, post-industrial information economy, and how this trend has significant cultural implications, including the outpacing of males by females in higher education enrollment and degree completion at both the general undergraduate and graduate levels.
In Bolick's article, the author discusses how rising rates of male joblessness and the generally declining life prospects of large numbers of males (as interpreted by Bolick, at least) are fundamentally changing the nature of the heterosexual "romantic market", including perhaps the notion of the "traditional" marriage itself. The 39 year-old Bolick (that is a picture of her above on the right) writes in a personal, narrative fashion, often drawing upon her own life experiences in buttressing her case. Citing
research by social historian Stephanie Coontz at Evergreen State College and the article by Rosin, Bolick notes that there are now fewer non-married households in the U.S. than married, and that both females and males are delaying marriage more than at any time in our nation's history. A major reason for these trends cited by both Bolick and Rosin is the transformation of our economy over the past several decades from primarily industrial to primarily information/services, which has in turn necessitated college-enhanced skills that females have been providing in larger numbers than men overall. Currently, females
outnumber men roughly 57% to 43% throughout contemporary higher education, a significant 14% differential. What does this difference mean in terms of the college dating scene?
Bolick answers by discussing how the increasing numbers of females vs. males on campus has encouraged the development of the so-called "
hookup" culture, where casual, non-committed sex has gradually become more of the norm since the 1970s and 80s, thus neatly correlating with the rise of females in college. In this unbalanced environment, fewer men means more heterosexual market power for men, with women increasingly forced to either meet the demands of many men for casual sex, or to possibly risk being marginalized out of the campus dating scene.
Bolick tries to add depth to this thesis by sharing the work of blogger Susan Walsh, a Wharton M.B.A. and stay-at-home mother of two who has been advising young women on dating for about six years now via her
blog hookingupsmart.com. According to Walsh's anecdotal insights into the contemporary college dating scene, only about 20% of college men in general (those with the highest status) are having roughly 80% of the sex on campus with only about 20% of the women (those with the greatest sexual willingness), thus leaving about 80% of both male and female campus populations on basically the sexual sidelines (whether by choice or lack of prospects; interestingly, a 2007 study commissioned by the U.S. Justice Department suggested that male virgins outnumber female virgins on campus). Even so, as Bolick points out, "the myth of everyone having sex all the time is so pervasive that it's assumed to be true, which distorts how young men and women relate." In other words, if a female on campus tends to believe "that everyone is doing it", she may be more inclined and/or easily persuaded to engage in casual sex "despite the fact that most people would actually prefer something quite different", per Susan Walsh. The alternative may be to give up on dating and romance altogether because "there are no guys", as Bolick quotes a University of North Carolina student, even though many college males and especially females still desire committed relationships, according to Bolick.
What are we to make of Bolick's observations and insights? Are they supported by research?
My initial findings did not yield much on the general topic of contemporary college dating habits and trends, but two studies were somewhat contradictory in their implications. According to a recent University of Missouri-Columbia
study, college-aged females and males are 'trying out' committed relationships without a clear path towards marriage by engaging more often in "stayover relationships" that involve spending three or more nights together each week with the option to return to one's own home at any time. However, even if that may be the case, according to a 2001
survey of some 1,000 college women, the college date is all but 'dead', as
only half of college seniors surveyed were asked out on more than five dates in college, and a third were asked on two dates or fewer. "Dating does not really exist," said Renee Daniels, a 2000 graduate of the University of Notre Dame. "Either you participate in random hookups or you are in an ultra-serious relationship. There is nothing in between." The survey also supports the notion that many college-aged females simply do not want to immediately find marriageable men. For example, Rachel Parsons, a senior at the University of Tennessee at Knoxville, explained that she "...loves boys, don't get me wrong, but I do not want to be committed, nor do I want to get married for many, many years...I want to advance in my career, become independent, establish stable finance, and focus on finding myself before I decide to share myself with someone else". Which were sentiments echoed by article writer Kate Bolick herself during her emerging adult years.
In the same survey, William DeMartine offered a contrarian male student perspective, saying that college men essentially get a bum rap in the media nowadays because, "you can't even try to meet girls, because when you try to meet them they've already put you in
your place...they already think that you want to hook up and that's it." Another possible reason for cautious and unproductive dating efforts on campus that Bolick fails to reference in her article may be heightened awareness among females of the dangers of possible date rape and other related dating violence. In their 2002 research
article, Stephanie Washington Kuffel and Jennifer Katz discuss the findings from an actual campus experiment they conducted that indicated high levels of physical, psychological and sexual aggression was occurring in their particular college setting (they also suggesting that preventative measures can serve to ameliorate such levels of aggression, per their experimental findings).
As this Bolick's
article was just published, the only dissenting viewpoints I could find so far are within the article itself as posted online. Below the article are a number of comments pro, neutral and con in tone, with men (not surprisingly, perhaps) taking issue with Bolick's points more often than women. Critically speaking, Bolick does not attempt to differentiate her generalizations about college dating with respect to types of institutions. She does refer to the plight of black women in general with respect to finding marriageable men, but otherwise fails to include multicultural viewpoints within her writings, including those of the LGBT community. In essence, she seems to write about the dating habits of women and men who more or less look and live like her.
However, to the extent that Bolick accurately captures at least some aspect of the contemporary dating scene at colleges and universities, what implications do her insights have for student affairs practice? This is a question to which I would welcome the thoughts and comments of my fellow cohort members, including those who are more recent college graduates, and/or who primarily work directly with students on a social learning basis outside of class.